I have finally come to terms that our baby is turning into a little boy...tear! He is Mr. Independent and wants to do everything himself, which is hard for momma to swallow. This morning we almost had a knock-down-drag-out when I was getting him dressed. He wanted to "help" put his shirt on and he kept putting his head in the arm hole and getting really frustrated. Anytime I tried to help maneuver to the proper hole, he would freak out and cry...what should have taken a total of 10 minutes took almost 30! Luckily that fiasco didn't set the precedent for the whole day-thank goodness.
The weather has been gorgeous the past two weeks and Dylan and I have taken full advantage of it. We have been spending anywhere from 1 to 3 hours at the park each day. Dylan LOVES playing on the playground with the other children. They are all older than him, but he runs after them and if they laugh or squeal Dylan will usually mimic them. Dylan is a pro at climbing up on the playground, sitting on the bridge and watching all the kids go down the slide. He will clap for each one as they go down and when a child passes on the bridge they will give Dylan a high-five...pretty cute!
For the past month, Dylan's sleeping habits have been wonderful. He sleeps from 7pm to 8am...yes! I feel like the first 9 months of his life were so rough (sleeping-wise) that he is making up for them now. He still takes two naps a day, but his morning one is only 45 minutes. I have a feeling he is going to be dropping his morning nap pretty soon.
His eating habits have changed too. He refuses all baby food and only wants what Trey and I are eating. This has made me very aware of how Trey and I eat and I have been consciously trying to eat a balanced diet. Luckily, Dylan is not a picky eater and will eat anything (except pureed food) we put in front of him.
QUESTION:
Okay mommas...I need advice! For the past couple months, Dylan has been throwing temper tantrums when he doesn't get his way. I have read so many books about parenting and correction and
every single one says to not do any corporal punishment (spanking) until at least 16 months. I firmly believe that you should talk with your child about what misbehavior they have performed and why it is wrong before you inflict punishment. But, I have no idea what to do right now while Dylan is still young. I have popped his hand when he has repeatedly gagged himself and made himself throw up (fun times), but when he is expressing his anger because I took something away from him I don't know if 'popping" his hand is what I should do...I don't think he would understand why he is getting in trouble. Anyways, i would love to know what you guys did to correct wrong behavior at a young age. I feel like we are straddling a fence and if we spank too soon we might ruin Dylan's psyche and if we wait too late he will ruin ours :)
(This is Dylan expressing his dislike that Trey took the remote from him:))
Also, my very favorite parenting book that I recommend to everyone is: Effective parenting in a Defective world (how to raise kids who stand out from the crowd) by Chip Ingram. I have read it once and plan on reading it every year to stay on top of things...love love love this book!
Thanks for reading!
-Jamie
Hey Jamie,
ReplyDeleteIf you think Dylan would understand this direction, then you could try timeouts. We had been giving Mia swats when she threw things off her highchair or just in general, but they weren't effective (for her), so we decided to have her sit in one spot for about a minute to give her a timeout. When she is done we tell her why she had to sit there and then say, "Yes, Mommy/Daddy," to make sure she hears us, and then "sorry." Of course, she is just now verbalizing these words and we just started doing this and she is 9 months older than Dylan, but I wish we would've started it sooner. She has thrown tantrums and disobeyed several times and I've been puzzled about what to do for so long.
I'm looking forward to seeing what others have to say!
Hey Jamie,
ReplyDeleteI can so relate to this post! Spats on the hand and thigh always did the trick for Loren-but not Maddie. :) I've been frustrated for several months with her training until a few weeks ago (she's 19 months) I decided to do timeout too. And it has worked beautifully! It can be so tough to find out what works for each child. Whatever you chose, I've found that consistency in training is one of most important factors.
Another thing we do with both girls is communicate to them when they've made a "bad choice" and a "good choice." We want them to understand that they have two choices-one good and one bad. If I see Maddie (or Loren) start to throw a fit I'll ask them if they're going to make a bad choice or a good choice. I think this helps them really think about how they're acting and what they're doing. Maddie doesn't quite grasp the concept yet but Loren does, and I think it's because we started talking to her about her choices at a young age. So, when Maddie does something that requires discipline I try to explain to her that she made a "bad choice" and that is why she is being put in timeout or getting spat. I try so hard to address the "choice" and not the child. I don't ever want them to feel like "they" are bad because "they" aren't... the choice they made was though. Does that make sense?? I'll pray for you and Trey-pray for us too!! The older my girls get the more humbled I get at the awesome responsibility of raising Godly children. Praise them and discipline them with love and pray OFTEN! Good luck!!! Jenn H.
I second what Megan and Jenn have said...great advice. Time out worked best for my strong willed child...do you remember the "lellow chair"? :-) It takes persistence and patience (neither of which do I pretend I've applied with consistency), but the rewards are huge.
ReplyDelete